Wisdom is a Mom.
Proverbs 31:1-31
Sermon Introduction
This morning we have the privilege of honoring one of the most profound and absolutely necessary roles in life. None of you would be here today and all of us would struggle to grasp the goodness of God and the reality of a personal loving God without moms. Rudyard Kipling, the British adventurer and author said, "an ounce of mother is worth a pound of clergy." That is so true. Today we will take time to examine this key role from the scriptures and honor the mom’s among us. Let’s pray.
Text
10 An
excellent wife who can find? She is far more precious than jewels. 11 The
heart of her husband trusts in her, and he will have no lack of gain. 12 She
does him good, and not harm, all the days of her life. 13
She seeks wool and flax, and
works with willing hands. 14 She is like the ships of the merchant; she
brings her food from afar. 15 She rises while it is yet night and
provides food for her household and portions for her maidens. 16 She
considers a field and buys it; with the fruit of her hands she plants a
vineyard. 17 She dresses herself with strength and
makes her arms strong. 18 She perceives that her merchandise is
profitable. Her lamp does not go out at night. 19
She puts her hands to the
distaff, and her hands hold the spindle. 20 She opens her hand to the poor and reaches
out her hands to the needy. 21 She is not afraid of snow for her
household, for all her household are clothed in scarlet. 22
She makes bed coverings for
herself; her clothing is fine linen and purple. 23
Her husband is known in the
gates when he sits among the elders of the land. 24
She makes linen garments and
sells them; she delivers sashes to the merchant. 25
Strength and dignity are her
clothing, and she laughs at the time to come. 26
She opens her mouth with
wisdom, and the teaching of kindness is on her tongue. 27
She looks well to the ways
of her household and does not eat the bread of idleness. 28
Her children rise up and
call her blessed; her husband also, and he praises her: 29
“Many women have done
excellently, but you surpass them all.” 30 Charm is deceitful, and beauty is vain,
but a woman who fears the Lord is to be praised. 31
Give her of the fruit of her
hands, and let her works praise her in the gates. Proverbs 31:10-31
(ESV)
Text Overview
Wow – what a passage. This passage is actually a Hebrew poem with the beginning of each line starting with a successive letter of the Hebrew alphabet. Some even see in it a mirror of Psalm 111 but here the woman is praised. This passage was traditionally read in Jewish households on the evening of the Sabbath at the dinner table. I imagine many of us are fairly familiar with this passage. I imagine even that some of the ladies among us cringed slightly when they found out we’d be in this text today. Not because you don’t love the word of God and God’s ways but because this woman in this passage is a superwoman. Do you know what I mean? There is nothing that can discourage a mom like being around a superwoman. One of those women who homeschools all 25 of her children, has the three oldest in Harvard, Yale and Princeton, cooks gourmet meals for her husband, runs a small business out of her home, serves as a small group leader with her husband, leads the women’s ministry at the church and always manages to look beautiful while always having time to reach out to the needy. There are a few out there and they are thoroughly effective at discouraging many woman of more normal ability. Any mom’s here identify with what I’m saying?
Well, this woman in Proverbs 31 is one of those superwoman. And I think God put this passage here on purpose for all the mom’s around us as well as for the rest of us. I believe he put it here that we might have a tangible and compelling portrait of what a life lived according to the book of proverbs looks like. For this is the very last passage in the entire book and serves as a summary of the entire book. This woman is the personification of wisdom itself. She is wisdom lived out in flesh and bones in the context of a marriage, a family and a community. This passage is wisdom as a mom. It shows us what God’s ways look like lived out. And there are three things this passage should do for all of us here. First, it brings conviction, for when we look into the word of God we look as into a mirror. Secondly, it drives us to the gospel of grace. Thirdly, it gives us a template for Christian living. That’s a lot to remember but we will go through this slowly. Let me sum it up in a sentence for now. Proverbs 31 is a picture of wisdom as a mom, a picture that convicts of sin, drives us to Christ and leads us on in godly living.
1.
wisdom
as a mom
First, let’s look at the picture of wisdom as a mom. I want to look at her work, her words and her worth.
1.1.
Her
Work
Her work is quite amazing. This woman is very active. She doesn’t lose a moment’s time in idleness. She gets up before the sunshine and begins her busy and full day. She oversees the meals for the day, making sure there are good meals for the day. She brings her food from afar, that is, she goes to the market to get the best ingredients available for her gourmet meals that she provides. Now, this woman is so prosperous that she has servants to help her, keep that in mind ladies! She makes sure her servants and her entire family eat first class.
Good meals are a significant key to a happy and prosperous household. Food and eating together function strongly in promoting healthy relationships and healthy bodies. It is no trivial thing to provide a regular nutritious and enjoyable diet to an entire household. The popularity of the food network and shows like Emeril Live and Rachel Ray testify to this. My favorite is Alton Brown, the scientific chef. Mom’s, don’t ever think that your role is unimportant. Just the regular provision and preparation of meals for your family is a huge blessing to them and the quality of family life is greatly increased through your hard and consistent labor!
This Proverbs 31 woman does this to the point of perfection – she is creative and diligent and faithful in feeding her household!
Not only does she make sure her family is well fed but she makes sure they are well clothed. She finds the finest materials, wool and flax, she spins her own cloth and produces wonderful clothing for her household. The stuff she makes is so wonderful that her family looks like royalty in what they wear, warm, richly dyed scarlet and purple clothing and coats, beautiful bed coverings and fine linen sashes. As a matter of fact, she is so good at this and so diligent that her clothing line is the latest fashion statement and major merchants are lining up to buy anything she produces. This woman is the Liz Claiborne of her day.
Now, just in case you are thinking you need to go home and
start learning how to spin your own cloth, this passage was written in a day
when it was a normal function of a mom to spin and weave her own cloth. There were no
Not only this, but she is busy managing the economics of the household. Her earnings from the textiles she makes are profitable to the point where she has money to buy a field for the household and plant a vineyard. She is diligent and wise to the point of expanding into farming and winemaking! This woman is incredible! She is a powerhouse of work, rising early, tending the lamp throughout the night and not only using her profits to expand the household and blessing them with a vineyard but also opening her hand beyond her household. For she considers the poor too and like Tabitha in Acts 9, provides clothing and help to them.
1.2.
Her
Words
This woman is an amazing example of godliness. Furthermore, not only do her actions embody wisdom but also her words. Notice what is said of her in verse 26. “She opens her mouth with wisdom, and the teaching of kindness is on her tongue.” This is the sort of woman you not only wanted to be around because of her work but also because of her words. She did not slip in what she said but her words are a continual feast of wisdom and kindness. There is no gossip or slander here. No harsh judgments or impatience but an embodiment of biblical wisdom in her words. James 3 says “the wisdom from above is first pure, then peaceable, gentle, open to reason, full of mercy and good fruits, impartial and sincere.” James contrasts this with those who are proud and quarrelsome, jealous and selfishly ambitious. The proverbs 31 woman is not quarrelsome but full of kindness and goodness!
Elizabeth Eliot is one woman I think of as full of wisdom and kindness. She is an older believer who has served the Lord over many years, watching her first husband killed on the mission field. Listen to this woman’s wisdom as she speaks about biblical femininity: “To me, a lady is not frilly, flouncy, flippant, frivolous and fluff-brained, but she is gentle. She is gracious. She is godly and she is giving… . You and I, if we are women, have the gift of femininity. Very often it is obscured, just as the image of God is obscured in all of us… .
I would remind you
that femininity is not a curse. It is not even a triviality. It
is a gift, a divine gift, to be accepted with both hands, and to thank God for.
Because remember, it was His idea… .
God’s gifts are
masculinity and femininity within the human race and there was never meant to
be any competition between them. The Russian philosopher Bergiath made this
statement: “The idea of woman’s emancipation is based upon a profound enmity
between the sexes, upon envy and imitation.”
The more womanly we
are, the more manly men will be, and the more God is glorified. As I say to you
women, “Be women. Be only women. Be real women in obedience to God.”4
Folks, that is a wise and
kind woman! And a fantastic and
compelling example of a woman approaching the wisdom of the Proverbs 31 woman.
1.3.
Her
Worth
So we have seen her works, we have seen her words, now let’s look at her worth. This woman is extraordinary in her worth. It first mentions this in reference to her husband, for she is called an excellent wife. And her husband is the one most blessed by this wonder woman of wisdom. Verse 11 says in the Hebrew, trusts in her, the heart of her husband. It begins with the word trusts. This man has a wife that is whole heartedly trustworthy and she does him good, not harm, every single day of her life. She is not oriented around her career, she is not oriented around her home business, she is not oriented around her children even. Her focus is primarily her husband and it is he who receives the greatest benefit of her life. Every single day throughout his life she brings him good and blessing and never harm. Her mission is to bless her husband. The word used for husband is ba-al which translates as master or lord as well. Now I realize this concept can so easily abused but this woman was oriented to her earthly lord, that is her husband. Let’s assume all the biblical qualifications to this statement about husbands loving their wives and laying down their lives for them, etc. But let us not deny the biblical description of the husband as a lord of sorts. And this woman is oriented towards him and he is incredibly blessed by her. His heart trusts her fully and he has no lack of gain. There is no lack of incredible and continuous blessing coming to him through her life of wisdom.
Her husband is known in the city gates where he sits among
the elders. Now, if we read that quickly
and miss some key points, it may seem that Mr. Proverbs 31 has it pretty
good. Mrs. Proverbs 31 does all the
work, makes all the money, earns all the respect and all this guys does is play
checkers with the old people and people watch all day long. That’s not what
this means. It does not mention his
occupation because it is about wisdom as a woman. When it says he is known at the city gates it
means that he is known among the leaders of the city. For the leaders, called the elders, would assemble
at the gates to conduct their meetings.
And it says this here because the effect of this woman’s life was to
propel her husband into significance in his service. Because of her godliness and their example as
a family this man was qualified to sit among the elders as a notable and
effective leader. Behind every
successful man is a woman, believe me it’s true. Gene A.
Getz, Pastor and Professor at Dallas Theological Seminary relates how in
1887 DL Moody became so discouraged because of multiplied
problems found in the newly formed Chicago Evangelization Society that he
resigned. Mrs. Moody, Emma, encouraged him to withdraw his resignation and to
take up again the reins of leadership. That organization eventually became Moody
Bible Institute. Humanly speaking, there may have been no Institute apart from
a woman who stood behind a man and encouraged him when he needed it most.[1]
I can say with no hyperbole that I am here pasturing because of my godly wife. Honey, when I came out of college I was a full of myself, legalistic, insensitive to others and very selfish. Your love for God and me and your kind and compassionate love for others has truly changed who I am. I think some of our friends from college would be surprised to hear that I now pastor. Honey, that is because of God’s grace through you and your blessing on our family. Thanks for all you have done and all you do. Our daily walks and your wise encouragement are necessary means of grace for my continued ministry. I love you.
It’s no wonder that the Proverbs 31 woman’s children rise up and call her blessed. It is no wonder that her husband sees her as the best woman imagineable. This is his fantasy girl. Unmarried men, this is your fantasy girl. And notice there is nothing in here about her physical beauty. On the contrary it finishes with “charm is deceitful, and beauty is vain.” Can you believe that? Not that she tried to be ugly but physical beauty is downplayed here. This passage is like a total inversion of modern femininity. In our culture now beauty and charm are everything and submission to a husband is deceitful and the calling of a home maker is vain. Oh how we need the truth of Proverbs 31 and the power of the Holy Spirit! May God raise up a biblical and winsome standard of biblical femininity in our midst that shuts the mouth of our culture and draws them to Jesus Christ!
2.
What
to do?
I think if we consider carefully the truths of this passage it should function the same in our lives. This standard of the wise woman, wisdom as a mom, is a daunting one. And if all the moms in our midst are honest, though you all emulate this woman to a degree you all fall short. And if you don’t think you fall short there is something very wrong. This woman is the ideal woman – the ideal wife and mom.
And the daunting call of a mom can leave you feeling like failures, worn out, discouraged and confused. The first reaction to a text like this shouldn’t be, “Yeah, I can do that!” but instead, “Whoa, that standard is so appealing but so convicting.” When moms look into the mirror of God’s word in Proverbs 31 they should immediately see how they fall short when compared to this ideal mom. And you know what, that is a good thing.
For motherhood is not just about your husband and your children. It is primarily about your God. And when you look in the mirror and realize you have failed to be the mom you are called to be it should make you desperately aware of your need for help. This should make you aware of your need for forgiveness. Perhaps, even as we went through certain sections you were aware of your failures. Maybe your mouth has not always spoken wisdom and kindness. Maybe there have been some days when you brought your husband harm instead of good. Maybe you have squandered your time instead of serving in love. All these pictures in this passage are from the gracious hand of God that you might see your sin and that you might run to him.
You see, when Jesus went to the cross he went for moms. God knows your failures and from his deep deep love for you he planned to send his own Son for you. His Son always lived according to wisdom. He pleased the Father in every way and then he gladly went to the cross, bearing your sin, to die the death your deserved that you might live the life he deserves. He offers you, through repentance and faith, complete and continual forgiveness. Receive it this morning. Receive it each morning and each time you fall short. You are forgiven, you are considered righteous in his eyes in Christ. Receive this.
Know that your righteousness will never be earned by being a good mom. As good as that is and as important as that is, it is not how he sees you. He credits the full righteousness of his Son to you and because of him alone your are accepted. Your work and words and worth as a mom are not what pleases him most. He pleased with you because you belong to His Son and covered in his blood and righteousness. Rest in this. Every day, at each moment.
And finally, run after the life he has purchased for
you. For you are forgiven and united
with him, you have nothing to fret about now.
But, because he is in you, you have power now to become like him. And now let Proverbs 31 be a inspiring call
to the high and glorious calling of a mom.
Let it be the prime arena in which you bring God glory. Titus 2 calls woman to live out the call of
being moms in order to adorn the gospel.
Carolyn Mahaney of Sovereign Grace Ministries says the following: “Can you conceive of anything that sets forth the
beauty of the gospel jewel more brilliantly than the godly behavior of those
who have received it? Consider the
loveliness of a woman who passionately adores her husband, who tenderly
cherishes her children, who creates a
warm and peaceful home, who exemplifies purity, self-control, and kindness in
her character and who gladly submits to her husband’s leadership – for all the
days God grants her life. I dare say
there are few things that display the gospel jewel with greater elegance. This is true feminine appeal.”[2]
And now, I want to invite David
Ross to come up and take a moment to honor one of the moms in our midst who
exemplify these truths.